


Os Book

by RewindTheExit



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23543119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RewindTheExit/pseuds/RewindTheExit





	Os Book

I sit by the camp fire. All alone. Everybody's sleeping. It's two o'clock night. We finally solved all our problems, lost Micah, have enough money till the end of our days, and moved back to Horseshoe Overlook. Everybody's happy. But I'm not. I felt in love with Hosea one month ago. But I don't think that he will love me back.

,,You can't sleep too huh?" Hosea's soothing voice ripped me outta my thoughts.

I didn't noticed how he sit down next to me.

,,Yeah." I answer. 

,,You alright?" 

,,Halfway. Not really. But S'alright." I answer.

,,You sure? You didn't look alright." He asks worried.

,,I'm not sure. I don't wanna destroy something. So I can't talk about it with you. M'sorry." I answer.

I notice how Hosea looks sad to the ground. He's the one I always tell everything. But I can't tell him that. It hurts me that it hurts him.

,,I understand Arthur."

,,M'sorry Hosea."

,,It's okay. It's something about me that u don't wanna tell me. Maybe that I'm old, ugly and useless. Is it that Arthur?" he growls.

Woah. What the hell! Where the hell comes this from. I notice how he will get up. But I hold him back.

,,Nah Hosea. Watcha talking 'bout? Are you crazy? Your not ugly. U may be not so young anymore but ur not ugly and not useless. You the smartest of us all." I say.

He sit down again, but looks to the ground. Now a bit surprised. But he let out a short laugh.

,,I can tell jokes myself, I don't need you for it." He whispers.

I can't. I just can't. So I grab him by the collar. He looks at me afraid, and shocked. I grabed him a bit harder as I wanted to. And now I get it. He thinks that I will hurt him. What the hell! What's wrong with him? I loosen the handle a little bit. And then I bend forwards. I wanna kiss him, but he turns his face away. I lay my right hand softly on his cheek, and turn his face slowly in my direction. I hold him there, and place my lips softly on his. But he does nothing.

,,Hosea. Ur not ugly and useless. I love you." I whisper.

,,Stop playing with me." he says harsh.

,,What's wrong with you. I love you so much. I mean it. Your beautiful. I would nerver play with ya. And I would never lie about love." I whisper. 

But he slaps my hand away hard, and dissappear in his tent. I start crying like a waterfall. Why does he not believe me? I Iove him so much. I stand up and sneak to his tent.

,,Hosea pleas. I don't play with you!" I sob.

But no answer. I sob again and again.

,,P-pleas Hosea!" I sob again. 

But nothing. I sob again, and turn arround. I walk towards my tent. It's my wagon but I tuned it with flaps. I need some privacy too. Sobbing and crying I walk back to my wagon. I push the flap aside, and go in. I sit down on my bed. I sigh. I can't believe it. Why he act like that? Has he been raped, beaten, or had he generally bad experiences in terms of love? I don't know. It hurts like hell. I sob again. I can't stop it. I love this man so much. He's my favorite in the whole camp.

Calm, a gentleman, he can listen well and tell great stories. Besides, he's always there for you. You can talk to him about anything, he keeps it to himself. That's nice. He has beautiful eyes. He's a bit to thin and bony, but his age is also a bit to blame. I sob again. My heart is broken into million little pieces. I can never look him in the eyes again. Besides he doesn't want to have something to do with me anymore. That hurts too.

I never thought that I will cry again. I stopped at the age of six with crying. But now I'm 43 and cry like a waterfall. For the first time in forever. I can't stand it. I need to get away from here. Hosea doesn't want to have me arround him anymore. So I walk outside. And go to my black Shire Horse Shadow. I mount him. And ride away. I don't know where too. Some time later I just endet at the river, wich you can see when you stand on the ege of the cliff in our camp.

I stop there. Dismount and give Shadow a treat. 

,,Stay boy. Good boah." I say.

Then I sit down and lean against a big rock beside Shadow. I'm still crying. But some time I will fan out of tears. Suddenly I hear a horse coming closer. But I don't care. I hope that the stranger will finally set me free. With a bullet in my head. The stranger stoppes his horse behind me and beside Shadow. I hear how the man dismount his horse. 

,,C'mon shoot me. Set me free." I sob.

But nothing happens.

,,Pleas." I sob.

I can't. I'm to weak. My heart wich is broken and gone is still hurting. In the corner of my eye, I can see how the stranger sit down next to me. I sob again.

,,Arthur." I suddenly hear Hoseas voice.

,,Ki-kill me already. You h-h-hate me anyways." I sob.

,,What?" He says shocked.

,,You heard and hurt me. I-I-I dunno wha-what it is wich caused you to f-freak out l-like that but it hurted me. So j-just kill me. You don't want anything to d-d-do with me anymore." I sob.

Oh man I'm a mess. Me an Outlaw who coldly killing people without shrugging with an Eyebrow, crying like a little child. Wow. That's weird. But I have feelings too. Everybody has them. I sob again. I'm shaking. Suddenly I feel Hosea's hand on my left thigh. I flinch. I'm actually afraid of him. For the first time in my life. He seems to notice it.  
He takes back his hand.

,,I'm so sorry Arthur. For everything. I made bad experience with relationships with men." He whispers.

,,You could have told me that. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to grab you by the collar so hard. But I was desperate." I sob.

,,I know. I'm sorry. Do you give me another chance?" he whispers.

I look at him confused.

,,Sure. If you want it." I say.

He whipes away my tears, and then he kiss me so softly. I kiss him back. As tenderly as I can manage. It's beautiful. It's making me whole.


End file.
